What the World Needs

The world is missing something... Can you sense it? Bombings, shootings, political turmoil, suicide, hatred, and bigotry are flooding the news and social media. These and other sensitive topics are headlining daily. Every time I log into Facebook or check the news, I find one of the big ones being heatedly debated. I, like many, have discussed them with friends and co-workers. These conversations have boiled with a myriad of opinions and divers emotions on these topics and I generally walk away from these conversations or exposures to social media a bit peeved. This frustration comes from the lack of compassion expressed in the media. This lack of compassion comes from a polarization in the arguments at hand. This polarization causes a lack of a clear understanding of different sides of an issue. This lack of understanding comes a lack of stasis.  I want to talk about how to remedy all of these.
Let's start with stasis. In rhetoric, stasis helps to identify the central point of an issue. Identifying this central point allows for the creation of the common ground of an argument - the legs we can all agree to stand on to productively discuss a given topic. Stasis can be reached by locating all the facts of an issue (what did or did not happen?), or defining the terms of the issue (what was the nature of what happened?), by determining the quality the events (was it good or bad?), and by identifying the policies at hand (what should be done moving forward?). It can also be reached by doing any or all of them together. Once one or all of these things can be agreed upon, the participants of a discussion have reached a stasis - an agreed upon understanding of an issue. Reaching the stasis fosters the neutral third space to allow for fair and productive conversation. For more information on Stasis Theory, see Purdue's website here. 
By creating a middle ground for the large issues we face, we could more effectively work through them. There is, however, a problem. We live in a polarized super-culture. This creates very little - if any - middle ground in an argument. It doesn't survive for very long before it is smashed for being weak or "flip-floppy." Those who stand in the middle are told to pick a side and stop being "wishy-washy." With this super-culture, the middle ground doesn't have room to grow or, in many instances, even be created. However, it is only in the middle ground - the neutral third space - that any of the issues can be fairly discussed! Sometimes it seems that no one wants to put the effort forth to create the middle ground - the neutral third space - and, with such dramatic polarization, that a third space seems impossible.  
I am an idealist and I will readily admit that. I believe in the power of compromise. I believe people are generally good and kind and want to find ways to co-exist. Based on what I have seen in the news and on social media, I have thought of a few things that might help create a desire for the third space, which will induce the necessary questions to reach a stasis. The following ideas are some things that I have been mulling over for some time and I think that, if we could implement them even on a individual level, they just might help with everything that's going on in the country (maybe even world) today. They are all designed to create compassion for others. By no means are they comprehensive or a cure-all, however, I believe they would help create a climate in which the middle ground can have a chance for survival. To help make it more real and personal, and also just for fun, turn the following into "I statements." 
Creating Compassion for Others 

• Focus on how and why we are similar rather than how and why we are different.
• Think about at least one other person for 10 seconds every day.
• Assume that we will be treated fairly with kindness, dignity, and respect.
• Treat others fairly with kindness, dignity, and respect.
• Understand the difference between ignorance and bigotry, and that the cure for both is truth.
• Ignorance: lack of knowledge or information.
• Bigotry: intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.
• Have courage to accept responsibility for one's mistakes.
• Be brave enough to be vulnerable.
• Genuinely and quickly forgive.

What if we focused on our similarities rather than our differences? Or thought about others more consistently? What if we expected others to treat us fairly and did the same in return? What if everyone understood that bigotry was the real enemy? What if people owned up to their mistakes, were vulnerable, and forgiveness was more freely given? How would the world be different? Can you imagine?! What if these were the guiding ideals of the population, can you imagine how the world would be different?! Can you imagine how all of the fighting, hatred, and bigotry would be diminished if not eradicated?! We would be see less and less of the awful that the media shows us. We would see less and less of the parts of humanity that and see more and more of what makes the world wonderful.  

Dear friends, by creating compassion, the desire for the third space would grow individually and collectively. A desire for the third space would lead to discussions of the facts, definitions, quality, and policies around the issues we face. These discussions would lead to a stasis which would create the third space and allow for compassionate progress forward.  All of this creates hope. Hope that tomorrow can be better than today. Hope that, one day, we won't have to be afraid to turn on the news or walk down the street.

That is what the world is missing. That is what the world needs.

Experience of the Blind

For a school assignment, I had to spend two hours without my sight and write a reflection.  I just got the reflection back from the professor, re-read it, and thought it was blog worthy.

Enjoy!

- J

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My entire life I have always had great vision – I never needed glasses or contacts, I’ve been able to read signs and whiteboards from far away, and it’s been a bragging point among my friends with less than normal vision.  I’ve been blindfolded before and I’ve walked around in nearly perfect dark before without a problem, so I felt that this assignment was sure to be a breeze.  To my surprise, two hours without my sight was a greater challenge than I anticipated. 

I slipped the blindfold over my eyes and adjusted it until the light was almost totally blocked out.  I tried to block all light, but some still peaked through.  I was in the car with my brother on my way to my parents’ house and the drive seemed to take much longer than normal.  I managed to get from the car to the door alright, though I had to side step to the walkway rather than cutting across the grass like I normally do.  I’m pretty familiar with my parents’ house, so I was able to trust my memory and get around inside fairly well.  I fumbled around to find my spot on the couch a time or two, realized that I had over shot where I wanted to sit, and had to scoot down a bit.  I felt my way along the walls, but doing so was familiar and normal. 

I asked my brother to read the questions I needed to be thinking over as I was blind folded and he was kind enough to help me out.  I must also confess that sitting comfortably in the dark like that I fell asleep for a few minutes.  All in all, the only real startling events were nearly tripping and falling over some boxes that aren’t normally on the floor and walking into the edge of the open door as we left for lunch.  Getting back to the car was fine, though I totally missed the sliding door and my mom had to open it for me.  The ride to pick up my aunt and to the restaurant, again, felt like they took much longer than they usually do. 

Arriving at the restaurant, we had to jump out of the car so my brother could go park it.  Normally, this is no big deal: he pulls over, we jump out and go inside, he parks and then joins us.  However, this routine activity made me feel surprisingly nervous.  I realized that I wasn’t going to be in the comfort of my own home where I felt comfortable getting around without my sight, but out and about with other people in a place that, despite some level of familiarity, was still foreign.  I also realized that I was going to be getting out of the safety of the family car into a parking lot with other cars that I couldn’t see.  I almost stayed in the car and walked in with my brother, but, thinking that this was exactly what I was supposed to experience, I decided to be bold.

When I got out, I asked my aunt if I could hang onto her.  She said that I could and a wave of relief washed over me.  I didn’t have to walk alone!  In keeping next to her, however, I did step on her heals because I was so anxious to stay close.  We got inside, and I was grateful I knew the menu well enough that I didn’t have to ask someone to read it for me.  I was noticed I wanted to hang close to my mom, and even kept my hand on her back so that I knew where she was.  I played like I knew where I was, though I eventually had to ask someone to put me where I needed to be so I could tell the line cooks what I wanted.  When we got down to the register, I handed my card to the cashier, who ran it and then put it back into my open hand, then my mom asked me how I was going to sign the receipt.  I told her that I would sign wherever she put the pen down for me which I did. 

We finish paying, and then we (or rather they) go look for a seat.  Normally, I grab the tray and walk to find somewhere, however this time I just held onto my mom and stepped on her heals as we found a table.  We sat down and they went to get drinks.  My aunt stayed with me so I didn’t have to sit alone in the dark.  As they walked off, my mom said, “Watch my purse!”  I could almost hear the smile on her face.  My aunt then asked why I was blindfolded and I told her about the assignment.  I had to ask her where my food was, to which she responded, “Right in front of you.”  I asked her to put the dressing on my salad because I didn’t want to get any of it on the table.  She did and I could feel her smile: everyone was getting a good laugh from this.  I felt around, found my fork, and then started eating – which was surprisingly difficult.  I couldn’t see where my food was and had to feel around for it with my other hand.  By this time, my mom and brother got back with drinks and I had to ask where they set it down, to which all three of them answered in nearly perfect unison, “Right in front of you.”

I knew the two hour mark was coming up and I was getting anxious to see again.  I missed being in perfect control of my movements and directions, I wanted to see my aunt’s new shirt, and I wanted to hunt and kill my brother for the torture he was putting me through.  I have rarely been so poked and prodded in a single hour in my life!  I would get poked in the nose with a straw, I’d swat at it, and he’d giggle.  Then I’d get poked in the ear with it and then in the other ear with it.  Eventually I’d start swatting at nothing and he’d laugh.  My mom and aunt were no help whatsoever and sat back enjoying the show.

 Finally the two hour mark came and I pull the bandanna off, open my eyes, and then had to shut them again because of the light that assaulted my retina.  Blinking, I looked around at the world around me.  Everything looked odd.  Colors were all pastels and the lights had little halos (probably from the too tight bandanna).  I liked my aunt’s shirt.  My brother had taken off running.

 Heading out to the car, I kept my eyes shut so I could take more time to adjust to the light.  The car ride took less time than it had before.  It felt strange to see again – strange in a way that I cannot describe.  It felt familiar and foreign all at once. I felt very helpless without sight and I was relieved when it came back.  I was quiet and reflective as I again saw the world around me.  There was so much that I just took for granted with my vision and I never stopped to consider how much sight is a part of me.